Chuck Norris Vs Georg Prime

Emg judulnya sih "Chuck Norris Vs Georg Prime" tapi sebenarnya bukan emg ditandingkan, kalo mereka tanding...bisa2 kehancuran dunia dipercepat... hahahaha

Ada yg gk kenal siapa Chuck Norris ? Chuck Norris ini dikenal org terkuat didunia, saking kuatnya dibikin banyak jokes nya..

Kalo Georg Prime, wajar ada yg gk tw, Georg adalah karakter dari game Suikoden, saking kuatnya dia, sampe bisa disejajarkan dgn Chuck Norris wkwkwkwkwk

Nah yg aku tulis disini beberapa jokes facts mengenai mereka, ini gk ku translate ke bhs indo, soalnya lebih lucu kalo dibaca dlm bhs inggris~

Chuck Norris Facts :

1.      Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2.      Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice

3.      Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

4.      If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

5.      Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

6.      When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

7.      Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

8.      A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

9.      If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

10.  When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

11.  Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty

12.  When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

13.  Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

14.  There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

15.  Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he's sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse.

16.  Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.

17.  Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

18.  If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. 

19.  Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

20.  Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

21.  Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. 

22.  If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. 

23.  Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.

24.  If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris. 

25.  Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot. 

26.  Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language

27.  Chuck Norris invented water.

28.  Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it

29.  Chuck Norris doesn’t eat. Rather he kicks ass until he’s full. 

30.  Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

31.  Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

32.  Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

33.  Chuck Norris does not sleep. He wait

34.  Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

35.  Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

36.  The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.

37.  There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

38.  Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

39.  Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

40.  People invented cars to get away from Chuck Norris, then they invented airplanes because they thought Chuck Norris couldn't fly.

41.  Chuck Norris called 911 to order Chinese food and got it.....

42.  Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.

43.  When the president pushes the big red button Chuck Norris's cell phone rings

44.  Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.

45.  When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

46.  Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

47.  Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

48.  Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

49.  Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

50.  Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Nah kalo Georg, mungkin yg ngerti kalo yg dah pernah maen Suikoden deh, jadi kalo mw ngerti maen Suikoden dulu~ (promosi)

Things That You Don't Know about Georg Prime...

1.    Guns swords, knives, needles, wands, scepters, bostaves, nunchaku dont kill people , Georg Prime Kills people.

2.    Georg Prime only has two speeds walk and kill.

3.     The leading causes of death in suikoden are: 1. War; 2. George Prime; 3. True runes going out of control

4.    Georg Prime hasn't ever been in a fight , only if you call a fight a deathblow.

5.    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day , give a man anything better then that and Georg Prime will kill him and take it..

6.    Everybody loves Tir Mcdohl....except Georg Prime.

7.    Some people wear superhero pajamas , super heroes wear Georg Prime pajamas.

8.    When Georg Prime does a pushup he isnt lifting himself up he's pushing the earth down.

9.    There are no races in suikoden , just people Georg Prime has beaten into different shades of black and blue.

10.  When Georg Prime talks everyone listens.

11.  Georg Prime sleeps with a pillow... UNDER his sword.

12.  Georg Prime is recruitable after Luca Blight's death. Why? Because Georg Prime wouldn't NEED 17 people to back him up.

13.  Y'know the secret ingredient to that Raging Nostrum drug Nether Gate assassin's take? One drop of Georg Prime's blood.

14.  Luc's original plan to destroy the true wind rune was to ask Georg Prime to do it.

15.  Georg Prime's only fear is having to duel his exact copy.

16.  What REALLY shattered Shield and dulled Sword? Georg Prime.

17.  Georg Prime's tears can cure all diseases. Too bad he's never cried. (All right, this one IS a Chuck Norris fact)

18.  Georg Prime once held the Rune of Punishment. Every time he cast a spell, the Rune took damage.

19.  According to a leak in Konami: In Suikoden VI, you won't need 108 stars to get the best ending. You just need Georg Prime.

20.  The reason for the PS3's delay is that the development staff hired Georg Prime to be 100% sure it would surpass the Xbox 360. The whole staff went missing the other day.

21.  Why did Shula stay calmly in Estrise like a good boy? Georg Prime was around 6000 miles away.

22.  Why is there gold dust in the Lunas River? Georg Prime pissed in it once.

23.  The Boost Rune is made from solidified Georg Prime saliva.

24.  Georg Prime wears the Corruption Shell and the Saint's Cloak at the same time.

25.  Georg Prime once tried to enter the Sacred games, but all the other participants quit. He later came back with a brown wig claiming his name was "Ferid."

26.  Attack beats Guard, Guard beats Special, Special beats Attacks. Georg Prime's Look beats all three and creates a True Rune in the process.

27.   The Blue Moon Rune's bearer actually turns into Georg Prime and goes into a deathblow frenzy until he can master the rune (forever).

28.  The reason Sialeeds and Gizel broke up is that Sialeeds lost all interest in Gizel the first time she saw Georg Prime.

29.   Georg Prime once tried to deathblow someone so quick his sword went back in time and annihilated 90% of the Sindar race.

30.  Georg Prime wears a patch over one eye because if he stares at you with both eyes your head will explode.

31.  Georg Prime has a son, the name is Optimus.

32.  Georg Prime can stop any second of time, because he is Prime.

33.  Georg Prime is better than Chuck Norris? Why? Because Chuck Norris is Georg Prime in disguises.

34.  Georg Prime only has one command in duels: Deathblow. It overcomes all other commands

35.  No one believes the lone gunman theory, unless, of course, the lone gunman was Georg Prime.

36.  Georg Prime's best bowling score: 301.

37.  WARNING: Do not attempt to hack Georg Prime into the final party. Your Gameshark, Playstation, television and all other personal possessions will be incinerated.

38.  Square Enix has to pay Georg Prime tribute every time Auron shows his face.

39.  Speaking of Square Enix, why do you think George Prime's sword is named Cloud?

40.  Georg Prime told Killey to get back in his cell; Killey complied.

41.  “Prime” isn't his name, it's his title.

42.  Frodo Baggins once gave the ring to Georg Prime and the ring shattered.

43.  Georg Prime's taxes aren't due until Sunday. Of course, he only pays his taxes out of courtesy.

44.  And eclipse occurs every time Sierra stands behind Georg Prime.

45.  If Georg Prime were President there would have been WMDs in Iraq: Georg Prime.

46.  Geddoe wears an eye patch because Georg Prime said so.

47.  Georg Prime can stop a bullet AND tell it to go back into the gun.

48.  Georg Prime once held the Black Sword rune, but the Bright Shield rune couldn't find anyone brave enough to hold it.

49.  Georg Prime's manliness makes Gordius look like a fall fashion show.

50.  Georg Prime once drew out his sword so fast, it caused a tornado.

51.  The Soul Eater doesn't take Georg Prime's soul, Georg Prime's soul takes the Soul Eater.

52.  Georg Prime survived the True Fire Rune going berserk. How? The flames were too afraid to burn him.

53.  Leon Silverberg is always three steps ahead of you, but Georg Prime is always right behind you...With his sword drawn.

54.  Did you know why Leknaat blinds? Because she wanted Georg's cheesecake while he was eating it...

55.  String theory says that there are infinite possibilities that exist within an infinite amount of realities. In all of them Georg Prime still kicks butt.

56.  If Medusa were to look directly at Georg Prime she would turn to stone

57.  If you cut a chunk out of Georg Prime, another Georg Prime grows out of it.

58.  If you take a number and divide it by zero, the result is Chuck Norris. If you divide Chuck Norris by zero, the result is GEORG PRIME!

Sebenarnya masih banyak lg sih, tapi segini aja deh~ *males nyari lagi

SUMBER : Google (karena banyak sumber yg bikin ni jokes)